Love conversations with my 2 year old!
Wednesday, November 9, 2011
Peanut Festival Fun!
Sunday afternoon we made it out to the Peanut Festival with our small group and had such a good time that we decided to go back last night. When we told LB our plans, she immediately told us that she wanted to see the cow poop! There is definitely plenty of that out there. And just in case you haven't been around that much cow poop, don't worry, LB says it smells like chewing gum!
Love conversations with my 2 year old!
Love conversations with my 2 year old!
Monday, November 7, 2011
A Story of Hope, Strength and Peace
All week I've been trying to figure out the best way to start this blog. I'll begin with two things you should know about the past few weeks. To answer the question that is on most minds - How am I doing? I am doing well - amazingly well. But more importantly I want you to know that I give all the credit and glory to God for everything - my strength and peace especially.
Several weeks ago I finished reading the book of Matthew and was considering which book of the Bible to read next when something jumped out at me from the book of Job. I cannot remember what it was or where it came from, but I remember thinking that maybe I should read Job again. I have read Job before, but it is not a book that I have spent much time in. This time has been different. I have soaked up the book completely. God wanted me to read this in preparation for the events to come, preparing for our own suffering of having a second miscarriage just five months after our first one.
"Shall we accept good from God, and not trouble?" Job 2:10
In Halley's Bible Handbook that we use as a study guide I would like to relate what it says in the beginning when discussing the subject of the book of Job.
Yes! This completely explains how we have not just survived but thrived since we found out. God's plan for my life and the life of my family is perfect; therefore, I have no fear. I pray that God will use my life for His good plans and ultimate story. And I am humbled that He has chosen me to tell this story. A story of hope, strength and peace during a time of sadness and grieving.
"Great is the Lord and most worthy of praise; his greatness no one can fathom." Psalm 145:3
I must be honest and tell you that sad things can and do happen. And in the midst of them it can feel like you are in a deep hole searching for light, for something to shine into the darkness and break up the path of devastation.
The morning I woke up with cramps and bleeding I very much suspected the worst. Everything was too familiar to ignore. It was a long morning of waiting to get in to see the doctor. And there was only one image I could not get out of my mind, the image of our precious baby. A real image. In my drawer with my Bible, I have 4 ultrasound pictures that I cannot part with. I haven't looked at them since we found out. And who knows when I'll pull them out again. But deep in my heart I feel that God wants me to hold on to them to be used for His purpose. His light can and will shine into this darkness and that gives me hope.
I look to the Lord for strength when I am weary, guidance when I feel lost, and comfort when I am sad. "The Lord is near to all who call on him" Psalm 145:18
We do not know and the doctors do not know why this miscarriage happened. First guess (with both miscarriages) is that something was wrong with the babies. It is hard to believe that something like this is even possible when each and every pregnancy is a miracle from God. I don't try to answer or understand this. I rest in the knowledge that God is much bigger than I am and He has my best interest at heart. He has a reason. That is good enough for me. And it is from this knowledge that I can daily draw strength to endure the loss that is so fresh and real.
"The Lord is righteous in all his ways and loving toward all he has made." Psalm 145:17
God knows my heart better than I do, so it must be obvious to Him how deeply I desire to have more children. Grant and I are praying and asking for wisdom for His perfect timing. Technically speaking I only have to have one normal cycle before we can start trying again. Will we be ready in two months to start trying again? Emotionally, I don't know. But if God is ready then I am on board 100%. Who am I to set up time lines that limit God's plans? I have peace that He will let us know when it is time.
"The Lord is faithful to all his promises and loving toward all he has made. The Lord upholds all those who fall and lifts up all who are bowed down." Psalm 145:13-14
We are sad and disappointed. But during all of this I have leaned hard on God, and with my full attention He has shown me love like no other and given me amazing peace. A complete and whole peace that can only be from God at a time like this. I believe with all my being that God will one day bless us with more children. In the meantime, I hope and pray that I will honor Him with my story. A story of hope, strength and peace during a time of sadness and grieving.
"My mouth will speak in praise of the Lord. Let every creature praise his holy name for ever and ever." Psalm 145:21
Several weeks ago I finished reading the book of Matthew and was considering which book of the Bible to read next when something jumped out at me from the book of Job. I cannot remember what it was or where it came from, but I remember thinking that maybe I should read Job again. I have read Job before, but it is not a book that I have spent much time in. This time has been different. I have soaked up the book completely. God wanted me to read this in preparation for the events to come, preparing for our own suffering of having a second miscarriage just five months after our first one.
"Shall we accept good from God, and not trouble?" Job 2:10
In Halley's Bible Handbook that we use as a study guide I would like to relate what it says in the beginning when discussing the subject of the book of Job.
~God does not allow us to suffer without reason. At times the cause of the suffering may be hidden from our understanding in the mystery of God's divine purpose. But we must trust in Him and always turn to Him, even in times of suffering. What a powerful witness it is to the world for Christians to not be full of anger and resentment toward God when suffering! We know that He is a God who loves us and does only what is right.~
Yes! This completely explains how we have not just survived but thrived since we found out. God's plan for my life and the life of my family is perfect; therefore, I have no fear. I pray that God will use my life for His good plans and ultimate story. And I am humbled that He has chosen me to tell this story. A story of hope, strength and peace during a time of sadness and grieving.
"Great is the Lord and most worthy of praise; his greatness no one can fathom." Psalm 145:3
I must be honest and tell you that sad things can and do happen. And in the midst of them it can feel like you are in a deep hole searching for light, for something to shine into the darkness and break up the path of devastation.
The morning I woke up with cramps and bleeding I very much suspected the worst. Everything was too familiar to ignore. It was a long morning of waiting to get in to see the doctor. And there was only one image I could not get out of my mind, the image of our precious baby. A real image. In my drawer with my Bible, I have 4 ultrasound pictures that I cannot part with. I haven't looked at them since we found out. And who knows when I'll pull them out again. But deep in my heart I feel that God wants me to hold on to them to be used for His purpose. His light can and will shine into this darkness and that gives me hope.
I look to the Lord for strength when I am weary, guidance when I feel lost, and comfort when I am sad. "The Lord is near to all who call on him" Psalm 145:18
We do not know and the doctors do not know why this miscarriage happened. First guess (with both miscarriages) is that something was wrong with the babies. It is hard to believe that something like this is even possible when each and every pregnancy is a miracle from God. I don't try to answer or understand this. I rest in the knowledge that God is much bigger than I am and He has my best interest at heart. He has a reason. That is good enough for me. And it is from this knowledge that I can daily draw strength to endure the loss that is so fresh and real.
"The Lord is righteous in all his ways and loving toward all he has made." Psalm 145:17
God knows my heart better than I do, so it must be obvious to Him how deeply I desire to have more children. Grant and I are praying and asking for wisdom for His perfect timing. Technically speaking I only have to have one normal cycle before we can start trying again. Will we be ready in two months to start trying again? Emotionally, I don't know. But if God is ready then I am on board 100%. Who am I to set up time lines that limit God's plans? I have peace that He will let us know when it is time.
"The Lord is faithful to all his promises and loving toward all he has made. The Lord upholds all those who fall and lifts up all who are bowed down." Psalm 145:13-14
We are sad and disappointed. But during all of this I have leaned hard on God, and with my full attention He has shown me love like no other and given me amazing peace. A complete and whole peace that can only be from God at a time like this. I believe with all my being that God will one day bless us with more children. In the meantime, I hope and pray that I will honor Him with my story. A story of hope, strength and peace during a time of sadness and grieving.
"My mouth will speak in praise of the Lord. Let every creature praise his holy name for ever and ever." Psalm 145:21
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