Peanut Festival Fun!

Sunday afternoon we made it out to the Peanut Festival with our small group and had such a good time that we decided to go back last night.  When we told LB our plans, she immediately told us that she wanted to see the cow poop!  There is definitely plenty of that out there.  And just in case you haven't been around that much cow poop, don't worry, LB says it smells like chewing gum!

Love conversations with my 2 year old!

A Story of Hope, Strength and Peace

All week I've been trying to figure out the best way to start this blog.  I'll begin with two things you should know about the past few weeks.  To answer the question that is on most minds - How am I doing?  I am doing well - amazingly well.  But more importantly I want you to know that I give all the credit and glory to God for everything - my strength and peace especially.

Several weeks ago I finished reading the book of Matthew and was considering which book of the Bible to read next when something jumped out at me from the book of Job.  I cannot remember what it was or where it came from, but I remember thinking that maybe I should read Job again.  I have read Job before, but it is not a book that I have spent much time in.  This time has been different.  I have soaked up the book completely.  God wanted me to read this in preparation for the events to come, preparing for our own suffering of having a second miscarriage just five months after our first one.

"Shall we accept good from God, and not trouble?"  Job 2:10

In Halley's Bible Handbook that we use as a study guide I would like to relate what it says in the beginning when discussing the subject of the book of Job.

~God does not allow us to suffer without reason.  At times the cause of the suffering may be hidden from our understanding in the mystery of God's divine purpose.  But we must trust in Him and always turn to Him, even in times of suffering.  What a powerful witness it is to the world for Christians to not be full of anger and resentment toward God when suffering!  We know that He is a God who loves us and does only what is right.~

Yes!  This completely explains how we have not just survived but thrived since we found out.  God's plan for my life and the life of my family is perfect; therefore, I have no fear.  I pray that God will use my life for His good plans and ultimate story.  And I am humbled that He has chosen me to tell this story.  A story of hope, strength and peace during a time of sadness and grieving.

"Great is the Lord and most worthy of praise; his greatness no one can fathom." Psalm 145:3

I must be honest and tell you that sad things can and do happen.  And in the midst of them it can feel like you are in a deep hole searching for light, for something to shine into the darkness and break up the path of devastation.

The morning I woke up with cramps and bleeding I very much suspected the worst.  Everything was too familiar to ignore.  It was a long morning of waiting to get in to see the doctor.  And there was only one image I could not get out of my mind, the image of our precious baby.  A real image. In my drawer with my Bible, I have 4 ultrasound pictures that I cannot part with.  I haven't looked at them since we found out.  And who knows when I'll pull them out again.  But deep in my heart I feel that God wants me to hold on to them to be used for His purpose.  His light can and will shine into this darkness and that gives me hope.

I look to the Lord for strength when I am weary, guidance when I feel lost, and comfort when I am sad.  "The Lord is near to all who call on him" Psalm 145:18

We do not know and the doctors do not know why this miscarriage happened.  First guess (with both miscarriages) is that something was wrong with the babies.  It is hard to believe that something like this is even possible when each and every pregnancy is a miracle from God.  I don't try to answer or understand this.  I rest in the knowledge that God is much bigger than I am and He has my best interest at heart.  He has a reason.  That is good enough for me.  And it is from this knowledge that I can daily draw strength to endure the loss that is so fresh and real.

"The Lord is righteous in all his ways and loving toward all he has made."  Psalm 145:17

God knows my heart better than I do, so it must be obvious to Him how deeply I desire to have more children.  Grant and I are praying and asking for wisdom for His perfect timing.  Technically speaking I only have to have one normal cycle before we can start trying again.  Will we be ready in two months to start trying again?  Emotionally, I don't know.  But if God is ready then I am on board 100%.  Who am I to set up time lines that limit God's plans?  I have peace that He will let us know when it is time.

"The Lord is faithful to all his promises and loving toward all he has made.  The Lord upholds all those who fall and lifts up all who are bowed down."  Psalm 145:13-14

We are sad and disappointed.  But during all of this I have leaned hard on God, and with my full attention He has shown me love like no other and given me amazing peace.  A complete and whole peace that can only be from God at a time like this.  I believe with all my being that God will one day bless us with more children.  In the meantime, I hope and pray that I will honor Him with my story.  A story of hope, strength and peace during a time of sadness and grieving.

"My mouth will speak in praise of the Lord.  Let every creature praise his holy name for ever and ever." Psalm 145:21

False Humility

Laura and I attend a Parent/Toddler gymnastics class each week, which we both truly enjoy.  I get to hang out with a bunch of moms and LB gets to run around for an hour playing on fun stuff.

Today a small encounter happened that has stuck with me and after replaying it in my mind I wish I had reacted differently.  (For those of you that attended Wiregrass Church on Sunday, you'll know what I'm talking about).

LB was being very sweet today and to one girl in particular.  At one point the mom leaned over to me and said, "Laura has the sweetest disposition."  In that single instant it takes to respond several different thoughts ran through my mind.

1) huh, well you didn't see her last week when she threw a fit in the parking lot and we almost didn't make it to gymnastics
2) she is being sweet....today
3) she just likes your daughter

But what came out of my mouth is what I would like to go back and change.  I said, "Well, she's not always like this."

Looking back, I wonder, was that false humility?  Did I respond that way to downplay the comparison she seemed to be making to the way her own daughter was acting?

Why couldn't I respond with a simple smile and a thank you.  Because now as I reflect I am thanking the Lord for a wonderful day with my sweet daughter and praying that the truly sweet disposition that LB exhibited not just at gymnastics, but pretty much all day is a true observation - a thumbprint of God.  I would be proud to know, not in a boastful way, but in a honored parent kind of way that this is in fact one of God's thumbprint's on LB.

Thank you Lord for Laura's sweet disposition.  May you cultivate and develop the behavior she exhibited today so that she honors not me, but you Lord, with sweet words and actions all the days of her life.

Family Time

I'm here!  I won't say I'm back, yet, but I'm here.  The past two months I haven't done much of anything unless it involved the couch, the bed, or the fridge.  But I'm beginning to rebound as we move into the 2nd trimester.  Yea!  We're pregnant!  11 weeks and 1 day to be exact.  Isn't it amazing they can tell you that much information!  We had our second visit to the doctor today and heard a healthy heartbeat and actually got to see the little butterbean jumping around in an ultrasound.  Maybe he/she will take after his/her big sister who is non-stop these days.

A recent and spontaneous trip to Callaway Gardens last weekend left us speechless.  We had a fabulous time.  We are already planning a yearly trip for our family, if not more often.  It is so family friendly.  I wish we had pictures from everything we did, but we only took our camera into the Horticulture Center.  Here are a few of the pics that Grant took.

Laura making us a snack to eat

On the bridge on the Kids Trail

Checking out the Gardens

I like to call them MumBalls

Mark, Set, Go

The Kids Maze

Look at the water Daddy!

More MumBalls

Cool dragon, lizard, snake thing in the water

Can you tell we really liked the MumBalls?

Do the Cockroach!

Last night I had a good belly laugh.  To the point where tears were streaming and I could barely catch my breath.

After walking the trail, we were all a little tired last night.  Eventually I ended up on the floor in the den.  LB didn't want me to be by myself so she laid down beside me.  And not too long later Daddy joined us.  So, all three of us are lying in a row.

LB starts instructing us, "Do this, Do this!"  Very emphatically.  At first we didn't know what she wanted.  But then we figured out she wanted us to copy her by crossing our ankles and folding our arms.

What proceeded for the next 30 minutes was a game of copy cat that had me rolling in laughter.

My favorite was when Grant told us to lift one leg.  And we'd copy him.  Then the other leg.  Then one arm.  And then the other arm.  And go crazy waving around.  Who knew that the "cockroach" would be such a hit with a 2 year old!

Next LB took her turn telling us something to do.  And after doing it she then said, "tickle me, tickle me!"  It was hilarious.

I don't think I've done the cockroach so many times in my life, but that was definitely her favorite.  Next to us tickling her.

I wish I had photos to share.  On second thought, maybe its better that there aren't any pictures of the three of us doing the cockroach!

Happy Birthday Laura!

Well, almost.  LB's real birthday is on the 27th, but we celebrated this past weekend.  Lots of friends and family gathered for a water slide, games, watermelon and cupcakes.  We all had a blast!  Here are a few highlights.

Aubie Came to Town

By all accounts, we had a celebrity on our hands last night.  At the annual Wiregrass Auburn Club golf tournament this year they brought in Aubie and Tiger Talk.  Aubie was a bit hit with all the kids.  And Aubie gets major props for letting all the munchkins crawl all over him, pull his tail, play with his whiskers and push on his feet.  He was a pro at this.  Here are a few pics I snapped.

Mass Chaos

My best group shot.  LB of course has her back to the camera.

Playing with Aubie's big feet.

Dad's article this week - Two Peas in a Pod

I love my dad's article this week, so I thought I would share it.  Enjoy!

Two Peas in a Pod

By Dan Ponder

“Excuse me,” the man said to the two ladies sitting at lunch in Bainbridge. “Do you mind telling me who that young lady was that just left?” “Catherine Vanstone,” they said.

“She looks just like my high school history teacher,” he replied. It turned out that some 25 years earlier, during a brief tenure at Ashford Academy, Mary Lou Ponder was in fact his teacher for two years. Imagine his surprise when he learned that Catherine’s maiden name was Ponder.

I might pass that off as one of those coincidences that come along occasionally in our lives, except that this was the second time in one week.

Earlier in the week, Catherine was attending a conference at Unicoi State Park near Helen in north Georgia. While eating lunch, a lady walked up to her and asked if she might be Mary Lou Ponder’s daughter.

It turns out that Kathy Doster, an old teaching colleague of Mary Lou’s, had retired years ago to the mountains of north Georgia. Though Catherine was just a child when she left, she somehow knew that the young lady walking across the dining room had to be related to Mary Lou. She was right.

In the space of one week, two people who really never knew Catherine identified her as Mary Lou’s adult child. They were both in a place that wouldn’t make a recollection likely. It was simply that they look alike, walk alike, and even talk alike.

As mother and daughter, they are like two peas in a pod.

I might say it is just their looks, but really it is more than that. They think and act the same way. They both talk with their hands. They even have the same emotional makeup in many ways. If they weren’t parent and child, you would think they were twins.

In many ways I have envied that genetic bond that manifests itself in so many ways in their relationship.

Our other daughter, Elizabeth, certainly looks more like me than Catherine, but she is much more a blend of the many branches of her family tree. That independence in many ways is what defines her.

It is somewhat ironic, then, that she married a twin. Both daughters share first cousins that are twins. They both had great uncles that were twins.

Henry, our first grandchild, was the spitting image of his other grandfather, Jack Vanstone, at birth. Laura, our second grandchild, looked exactly like her father, Grant, the first moment I saw her.

Who is my other pea in the pod?

I don’t worry about this at all. The older we all get, the more I see myself in my children and grandchildren. It may not be physical, but there is a part of me there that I can see. They all got some of the good and bad.

Physically, I see my father in my face more each passing year. My brother has the Beall features and looks more like my maternal grandfather. My sister is her own person in many ways, but with looks and traits that blend from both sides.

It isn’t always just our family that we resemble. We often have friends with whom we share similar traits. Television shows occasionally feature how similar a pet and their owners look alike. Some couples that have been married for a very long time seem to look more and more alike.

Most of us have either seen or had someone tell us about someone else that looked like our “twin.” Perhaps with nearly 7 billion people on the planet it isn’t that surprising that at least one person favors each of us. What is incredible is that we often have the opportunity to actually see that person out of such a mass of people.

Sometimes it works exactly the opposite way. My brother and I are partners, neighbors and best friends, but are as opposite as two people can be. My daughters are not quite so different, but no one is going to mistake them for twins.

Some of the best friends in my life have had very different interests than I have. Some are pretty similar. It doesn’t really matter to me what you share with a friend beyond friendship.

Who hasn’t seen an Elvis impersonator in their lifetime? Who hasn’t seen someone that looks like Marilyn Monroe or Jackie Kennedy? Comedians often make a fortune simply by looking like the current president, whoever that might be.

Some more extreme examples involve people having plastic surgery to look more like their hero or someone famous. Improve your own looks if you must, but to spend money and endure pain to look specifically like someone else, no matter how famous, seems a bit much to me.

God seemed to make my wife and oldest daughter so much alike. Like two peas in a pod, they share things I can’t begin to understand. On the other hand, I get to marvel and enjoy their relationship from afar.

5 Ways to Thrive During Tough Times

This is a great motivational read.

The below article is written by Jon Gordon.  You can find out more about Jon at www.JonGordon.com.

5 Ways To Thrive During Tough Times

Budgets are tightening. The economy is stagnating. Competition is building. Fear is spreading. And uncertainty is growing.

Staying positive doesn't mean you ignore this reality. Rather it means you stay positive and take positive action in spite of this reality - regardless of how bleak the situation may seem.

Now is a time to get back to basics, zoom focus on the fundamentals, grow your business, gain market share and seize the opportunity. Yes, opportunity. Despite what you have been hearing now is a great opportunity for you and your organization to create lasting success.

Study history and you'll find that a lot of people and organizations made a name for themselves and grew their businesses during recessions and downturns. These successful people and organizations all shared similar characteristics and took similar actions to thrive while others merely tried to survive. These success stories offer a blue print we can follow to thrive during tough times. They show us what is possible if we are willing to stay positive, repel fear, and take initiative.

In this spirit, here are five characteristics and actions you can take to thrive right now.

1. Refuse to Participate in the Recession - Businesses and people that thrived during past recessions continued to go about their business as usual regardless of the market conditions. They stayed positive, worked hard and focused on taking actions to grow their business. Focus on business as usual and while others allow fear to paralyze them you will charge forward and move ahead of your competition.

2. Increase Marketing and Advertising - It may seem counter intuitive to spend more money on advertising and marketing but with so many people and organizations cutting back on these expenses this is a great opportunity to build your brand, expand your presence and gain market share. People will still be buying goods and services and they will buy from those who they trust and see in the marketplace. This is a great time to win new customers and stand out.

3. Innovate - Just as the phoenix rises from the ashes, great ideas and new business ventures are born during economic hardships. GE, Disney, and Microsoft were all born during recessions. I believe when times are tough we are more open to new ideas, new products and new ways of doing things. For example, smart political and business leaders should be working on new technologies and infrastructure that will lead us into the future.

4. Become a Talent Magnet - If you are a leader or manager there is no better time to find, attract and hire the best talent. Focus on strengthening your business now and you’ll be in a great position to capitalize when the market rebounds.

5. Think Big, Take Action - Consider that both the Empire State Building and the Golden Gate Bridge were built during the Great Depression. Now is a time to think big, create your vision and take action. With more people living in fear and fewer people taking initiative the rewards and recognition will be greater for those willing to work hard and dedicate themselves to building a great business, product, service, and vision. As we know, there is no substitute for hard work and now is a time where those with a positive attitude and great work ethic will shine.

Think Before You Invest

How do you invest your time?  How do you invest...you?

I have shared before how much I enjoy reading Sally Clarkson's work.  Today's post on her blog, I Take Joy, is so relevant for all that I wanted to share it with you.  Check out what she has to say about "Investing your life or frittering away the coins of time".

Great Summer Dessert

Need a great summer dessert that is super easy to make?  I have it for you.  My Key Lime Pie recipe is about as easy as it gets.  This recipe comes from the grandmother of one of my best friends from college. Marie and I stayed with her grandparents in FL during one of our Feb Breaks (yes we had a week off in February in addition to a normal Spring Break) and she kept the pies coming the entire time we were there.  I couldn't get enough of it!

Graham cracker crumb crust

Original Cool Whip

Sweentened Condensed Milk

Lime Juice - one of those little limes with the juice in it is the perfect size, but if you have to buy a big jar of it, then you need 2/3 cup

Mix the cool whip and condensed milk.  Add in the lime juice and mix some more.  Throw it in the pie crust and then into the freezer.  Tada!  

I like to keep mine in the freezer and pull out at serving time because it can soften up fairly quickly in this 100 degree weather.

Great for making ahead of time.  And it keeps for a long time.

Enjoy.

Give Me a Break

I've never been one to sit still for very long.

I can remember this one time when we were little and my mom, sister and I were in a doctor's office.  Not sure if someone was sick or if it was just a routine check-up, but while we were waiting I proceeded to open up every jar and cabinet to examine every item in this tiny room.  It didn't matter what it was or what it was used for I was just finding something to do really.  (No patience then, and still working on my patience even now).  But what sticks out most in my memory is my sister trying to make me stop and just sit still.  My mom, I'm sure knowing better at this point, told my sister that I wasn't harming anything I just had to keep moving.  So, knowing I had permission (within boundaries) and that I was irritating my sister, of course I didn't stop.

Now that I'm older I still find it hard for me to sit still, but for somewhat different reasons.  There is always something that needs to be done.  Laundry to fold, dishes to wash, toys to pick up - I'm sure you can rattle off your own list without really trying too hard.  So making myself take a break is hard sometimes because I feel the guilt settle in like a weight with all the things I could be doing.

So, give me a break.  No seriously.  This is the one way I am guaranteed to relax and not feel guilty about it.  This past Christmas my managers and district managers gave me a 60 minute massage at Westwood Day Spa.  Is there really any better gift for a woman?  I can't think of many.  But of course, in classic mommy fashion I kept putting it off because its not convenient during the week and I hate giving up my family time on the weekends.  But finally I couldn't wait any longer - my certificate was about to expire.  And for 60 minutes yesterday morning I took a much needed break.  Completely guilt free.

Need a gift for the ladies in your life?  Call the spa and make her take a break.

Laura's ABCs

A...B...C...D.......watch and learn

Cookies & a Baby Turtle

All we needed was a project.

During our Friday play date we stretched the limit of time that toddlers usually last with a simple project.  Cookies.  We tried using the 101 kit of cookie cutters that I found at Target on our cookie dough, but very quickly we discovered that logs of cookie dough are not meant to be formed into different shapes.  But regardless the project provided enough structure and focus to make a Friday play date last almost 5 hours.  And when its raining out side this was a huge win for the mommies!

After naptime, Grant provided another treat for our Friday - a baby turtle.  One of his crews found it and he brought it home to show LB.  She loved it.  And we had to watch her cause she would get so excited and start jumping up and down right around it.  Thankfully she never landed on it and we sent the turtle on its way in our backyard.

Jon Gordon's Weekly Newsletter

TRUE FREEDOM

By Jon Gordon

I love July 4th. Not just because of the fireworks, barbeque and excitement that Independence Day brings. I love it because it’s a holiday that celebrates the greatest gift to humanity... freedom.

Freedom is not something many of us think about on a daily basis and yet if you consider the great struggles and triumphs throughout history they are stories of an oppressed group of people who sought, desired, and found freedom.

The quest for freedom is also a story that lives inside each and every one of us.

I remember three years ago when I went on a book tour for The Energy Bus. I drove thousands of miles and visited 30 cities. My wife and kids joined me for part of the trip but I also spent many hours, days and miles driving alone.

At one point on the journey I looked in the rearview mirror and realized I had all this stuff on my bus that I didn't need. Why did I travel with all these bags of useless stuff for so long, I wondered?

I believe every one of us can say the same about our life journey. We hold on to bags that only weigh us down. For some it’s the bags of the past or the bags of disappointment. For others, it’s the bags of distrust, self-doubt, mistakes, fear, anger and pain.

We may live in a free country but we are often imprisoned by our negative thoughts and emotional baggage.

You know the baggage I'm talking about. They affect your work, your life and your relationships. Just as I looked in the rearview mirror of my bus, you can look in the rear view mirror of your life and know which bags need to be left behind.

Then you can do what I did. I didn’t want to drive heavy. I wanted to travel light. So I let the bags off the bus. You can do the same. As author Max Lucado says, “You can release the burdens you were never meant to carry.”

I remember the moment I let the bags off my bus. I was somewhere past Phoenix driving through the desert. I found a big trash can and put the bags where they belonged. I got back in the bus with the past behind me and a road full of daylight ahead. A big smile came upon my face. I was now free to enjoy the ride.

I hope you'll do the same... and experience true freedom.

www.JonGordon.com

Book Giveaway

Who doesn't like free stuff?

I am a huge fan of Sally Clarkson.  She wrote The Mission of Motherhood, which I read when LB was just a baby and it changed my entire perspective on being a mother.  I wish I had discovered it sooner.

Just recently I started following Sally's blog, I Take Joy.  And this morning I found out they are giving away three copies of their latest edition of Educating the WholeHearted Child.  While the book is written primarily for homeschooling parents it is also great for those that are not homeschooling to help the parent think about God's design for you, your family and your home.

If you want to try to win a copy of their book check it out here.

Proud of my Cousin

Yesterday's Dothan Eagle sports headlines read Future Masters Dothan's Ponder in Contention for 10 & under.  And guess what!  Thomas won!  Thomas shot a 71 to win the 10 & under division and this beautiful trophy.  Congrats!

Go Go Go

 I could never sit still for very long when I was little, so it should come as no surprise that Miss Laura is the same way.  We don't stay idle for very long.  Here are a few pictures from the park and gymnastics yesterday.

 

 

First Date Anniversary

When Grant and I were dating we celebrated anniversaries on a monthly basis.  The 25th of every month we celebrated the anniversary of our first date.  And today we celebrate that first date, which happened six years ago.  Wow - has it really been six years?  Has it only been six years?  Either way you look at it my cup is full of joy and love. 

Celebration

Dear Grant,

Today we sent in the last payment on our debt.  Hooray! Yippee! High Five!  So where do you want to go to celebrate?  Finally the day has come for our debt-free reward we dreamed about.  We randomly talked about TX last night.  Hmmm a very fun possibility.

Well, we have a busy few months coming up, so that gives us some time to plan and save.  In the meantime, we can feel freedom since we are no longer slave to the lender.

Maybe we should get out some toilet paper and roll some trees and celebrate Auburn-style.

Toomers after the National Championship Game

Love you more and more,
elizabeth

Back at it & New Book Club Read

There is nothing like a routine to get things back moving again.  Praise the Lord that Mothers Morning Out started back this week.  How did I manage without it!?!  Grant and I agreed last night that this has been the best week after a long couple of weeks.  We are both thriving at work and that so easily is seen at home also.  Throw in a little rain in the forecast and you have a couple of happy landscapers.

Book Club has started a new book and I was completed reeled in yesterday. 
It's called One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp.  The first chapter is a little hard to read, not because it's difficult but the story just weighs down on your heart.  But there is a bright light shining in the chapters to follow, so if you pick it up be sure to push through because it is well worth it.  A friend in book club had already read it and said it changed her life.  Well, if that doesn't make you want to pick it up, then I don't know what will.  And I have to admit, after just a few chapters I believe I will completely agree with her in the end.  I look forward to implementing my own "One Thousand Gifts" each and every day.  Can you name one thousand things that you are thankful for?

1. hugs and kisses in the morning
2. dinner with my daughter
3. the smell of coffee brewing when I step out of the shower

I dare you to start your own list.  Mine makes me smile, which I think makes each day a little better.

Great Peace in the Storm

On May 18th Grant and I celebrated the wonderful news that our family would be expanding.  And then less than one month later, on June 6th we found out we had lost the baby.

One in five pregnancies end in a miscarriage - one in five!  When we were pregnant with Laura we thought - oh, I'm so glad that's a low number; we really won't have to even think about those things.  But now that we are on the other end of that statistic we realize just how big of a number that truly is.

In just a few short weeks we had already started discussing plans.  What would my work look like?  Where will the nursery go this time?  We need to potty train LB, get her in a big bed and lose the paci all before the new baby arrives.  I'm a planner at heart, so in no time my mind was off to the races.  And going from "Cloud Nine" to the loss and grieving of a baby and what could have been does a complete 180 on your emotions and everything you are moving towards.

But I am writing today to say that God is still good. 

One week ago today I woke up on Saturday morning with a vivid dream.  In my dream I look down to find in my hand two drops of blood.  I know that it's my own.  And that the blood is from the baby.  Even today I can still see this image crystal clear.  I had never put much thought into dreams, but this one I could not shake.  God was beginning to prepare me for what was to come.

I cramped all day Saturday and woke up with even worse cramps Sunday morning.  And as soon as I got up the bleeding began.  It was difficult to not let my mind "go there".  My body was telling me one thing and my heart and soul were begging for the opposite.  Overcome with emotion, I sat in a chair in our den and wept.  My wonderful husband came over and immediately started to pray.  Through all the tears and sobs, I suddenly felt someone climbing up into the chair with me.  My sweet baby girl knew something was wrong.  Coming to comfort me, she crawled into my lap and gave me a kiss on the lips.  So innocent and sweet is the love of a child; I was now crying with a smile on my face.

As the day progressed my prayers changed from God, please save and protect this baby to God, I want your will for this baby, your will is my will Lord.

"Perfect love cast out all fear" - text from a friend.

We did talk with the doctor on call Sunday morning, who at the time didn't see any big reason for concern.  There had been no big clots.  I wasn't bleeding very heavily.  So, I was supposed to just keep a watch on it all and if the bleeding continued to go in for an ultrasound on Monday.  The bleeding did continue and the cramps intensified.

"Praise be to the Lord, to God our Savior, who daily bears our burdens" Psalm 68:19 - text from a friend.

Monday morning I knew that something wasn't right.  We got in mid-morning for an ultrasound.  The nurse could see immediately that there was no baby.  As a follow up, they sent me to have lab work done.  The next step was to test my hormone levels.  Your hormones are constantly doubling when you are pregnant and if I were pregnant and at 7 weeks I should register over 6,000.  After a long wait we found out that my hormones were only at 300.  Finally all the pieces were coming together for us to get some definite answers.  There was a baby at some point, but a miscarriage was definitely happening and still happening. 

"this too shall pass" - text from a friend.

The doctor gave us some comfort when he told us that this is why there are so many healthy, normal babies born.  That 1 in 5 statistic is real. 

I'm not mad.  I'm not devastated.  I am sad, only because we do want more children and that time isn't right now.  I do not understand it fully.  And I'm not trying to.  I trust that God knows and understands the situation fully and that is good enough for me.

Immediately we were surrounded with love from family and friends.  Caring for LB at a moment's notice; cooking us meals; diet cokes and chocolate; prayers, texts and phone calls and people to simply listen when I just needed to say it out loud.  Grant and I have been overwhelmed completely.  And I know that each prayer was heard, because through such a terrible storm there was a calm in our house and in our hearts.  The rallying of support was so powerful that it touched me in my soul and I hope I never forget it.

God has given me several lessons through this experience.  First, life is a miracle.  A pregnancy, a newborn, my toddler, my husband, my friends and family, myself - we are all miracles.  And life should be approached with respect, awe and wonder.  A life is precious and fragile all at the same time.  And that applies to all people we are in contact with.

My second lesson learned is that my ultimate trust must be in God at all times.  I trust Him now and I trust Him with my future and with that comes great peace.

The Most Elegant Wedding

Last weekend Grant and I were privileged to be a part of the most elegant wedding either of us have ever attended, and perhaps will ever attend in our lives.  Yes, it was that special.

We felt like we were back in time as all the ladies were in beautiful, long formal gowns and the men were dashing in their tuxedos, walking around a plantation in Thomasville, GA.  The grand oaks and dripping moss set the mood as the sun set, vows were spoken and toasts were raised.

The evening began in the trophy room with champagne.  The plantation owner  was known for her horses and winning races back in her day.  Silver cups and trophies adorned this spectacular room at the end of the house.  Floor to ceiling windows on every wall revealed the majestic setting we were in.

Escorted into the room for the ceremony, we only had to wait a few minutes before the processional and the beautiful bride walked in the room.  I have known my friend Jackie for over 15 years now.  We met on the tennis court when we were just 13.  Opponents at first, we quickly became close friends traveling to tournaments together and playing doubles every chance we got.  So when Jackie asked if I would read the scripture at her small, intimate wedding I was honored down to my core that she would want me to do something so special.

As elegant as the bride was, the ceremony reflected her completely.  Her touch was evident with every detail.  Following the ceremony we all gathered on the front porch for cocktails, hors d'oeuvres and music.  The best part was still yet to come.  A 7-course meal prepared by a chef and his army of waiters and waitresses all the way from Athens, GA.  This chef has even competed on the Bravo TV show Top Chef.  Every morsel was delicious.  I don't think I can do it all justice, just imagine mouth watering delicacies and that's what we ate.

After dinner and many more toasts, we all retired to the porch for more music and dancing.  It was the perfect ceremony, wedding, dinner and reception.  As it should be for every bride and groom on their special day.  But this one I will remember always.

Congratulations Jackie and Matt.  May your marriage be just as special as your wedding weekend was.

Today I Choose Self-Control

This is the last of the Fruits of the Spirit that Max Lucado brings to life in his introduction to Grace for the Moment.  It is the longest and to me the best.  He wraps it all up well and in a way that I hope to remember to implement in my daily life.  So for today...

I CHOOSE SELF-CONTROL

I am a spiritual being. . . .

After this body is dead, my spirit will soar.

I refuse to let what will rot, rule the eternal.

I choose self-control.  I will be drunk only by joy.

I will be impassioned only by my faith.

I will be influenced only by God.

I will be taught only by Christ.

I choose self-control.

Love, joy peace, patience, kindness, goodness,

faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.

To these I commit my day.

If I succeed, I will give thanks.

If I fail, I will seek his grace.

And then, when this day is done,

I will place my head on my pillow

and rest.

Today I Choose Gentleness

With Blogger being down for a couple of days I couldn't finish what I started.  But alas, we can finally pick back up where we left off with Max Lucado's beautiful introduction to Grace for the Moment.  And the last two Fruits of the Spirit.  Today...

I CHOOSE GENTLENESS

Nothing is won by force.  I choose to be gentle.  If I raise my voice, may it be only in praise.  If I clench my fist, may it be only in prayer.  If I make a demand, my it be only of myself.


Whew, what a good one for a Monday morning.

Today I Choose Faithfulness

This might be one of my favorites so far.  Simple.  Honest.  True.  Integrity in the most important things in life.

I CHOOSE FAITHFULNESS

Today I will keep my promises.  My debtors will not regret their trust.  My associates will not question my word.  My wife will not question my love.  And my children will never fear that their father will not come home.


These words are from Grace for the Moment by Max Lucado and I continue to give him all the credit.  Check out the other posts on Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness and Goodness.

There are just two more to go - Gentleness and Self-Control.  I'm sure they will be just as good as all the rest.

Today I Choose Goodness

Here is what Max Lucado had to say about Goodness in his intro to Grace for the Moment.

I CHOOSE GOODNESS

I will go without a dollar before I take a dishonest one.  I will be overlooked before I will boast.  I will confess before I will accuse.  I choose goodness.


Good stuff.

Today I Choose Kindness

I CHOOSE KINDNESS

I will be kind to the poor, for they are alone.  Kind to the rich, for they are afraid.  And kind to the unkind, for such is how God has treated me.


This is the fifth segment from Max Lucado's intro to Grace for the Moment where he goes through the fruits of the Spirit.  His words are simple and yet so rich.

Happy Monday Everybody!

Today I Choose Patience

Not always, but perhaps 90 percent of the time I need more patience than what I'm generally equipped with.  And I'm learning that even more importantly I need an ample supply of Godly patience.  And I truly believe there is a distinct difference.

So, continuing the journey of Max Lucado's powerful words on the fruits of the Spirit, today...

I CHOOSE PATIENCE

I will overlook the inconveniences of the world.  Instead of cursing the one who takes my place, I'll invite him to do so.  Rather than complain that the wait is too long, I will thank God for a moment to pray.  Instead of clinching my fist at new assignments, I will face them with joy and courage.


Check out what Max Lucado had to say about Love, Joy and Peace.

Thank you Max Lucado for these inspirational words.

Today I Choose Peace

The next fruit of the Spirit that Max Lucado talks about is Peace.  Simple and sweet today.

I CHOOSE PEACE

I will live forgiven.  I will forgive so that I may live.


Read Max Lucado's first two entries on Love and Joy.  Great words that resonate in my soul as I strive to learn and grow in my relationship with my Lord.


Happy Friday!!

Today I Choose Joy

Continuing with yesterday's entry, which you can check out here, I continue to give all the credit for these great words to Max Lucado from his book Grace for the Moment.

Today I CHOOSE JOY.

I will invite my God to be the God of circumstance.  I will refuse the temptation to be cynical... the tool of the lazy thinker.  I will refuse to see people as anything less than human beings, created by God.  I will refuse to see any problem as anything less than an opportunity to see God.


I saw God this morning at 3:30am.  With one screaming toddler in the house, Grant and I took turns turning on music and finding pacis.  Finally when we couldn't take it any longer I got up and LB and I trudged down the hallway to find Sesame Street on.  Praise the Lord.  She only wants to watch Elmo these days.  After my alarm when off a little while later, hubby/daddy trudged down the hallway too.  He took over so I could jump in the shower and put on the coffee.  I came back to find these two kiddos snuggled up on the couch zonked out - both of them.  Joy filled my heart as I watched them.  Even when none of us resemble human beings at 3:30 in the morning I was reminded that God created this precious little girl that brings so much joy to my life.

Grace for the Moment

A few days ago Grant picked up the small book that sits on the little table just outside our bathroom.  It's one of those books that you put out because it looks pretty and at one point you read it and it was great so you want to leave it out for others to see.  Well, with its current location there probably aren't too many people that see it, so I wanted to share a little bit of the treasure we discovered in its intro.

The book is Grace for the Moment by Max Lucado.  It is a collection of inspirational thoughts for each day of the year.  The intro goes through the fruits of the Spirit.  After Grant read it he looked at me with "wow" written all over his face and he told me I needed to read it.  There are nine in all.  And I'd like to take them one at a time.  I think Max Lucado provides so much to think on that I'd like to let each one rest on our hearts to let it fully sink in.  So here we go.

Each Day...
It's quite.  It's early.  My coffee is hot.  The sky is still black.  The world is still asleep.  The day is coming.

In a few moments the day will arrive.  It will roar down the track with the rising of the sun.  The stillness of the dawn will be exchanged for the noise of the day.  The calm of solitude will be replaced by the pounding pace of the human race.  The refuge of the early morning will be invaded by decisions to be made and deadlines to be met.

For the next twelve hours I will be exposed to the day's demands.  It is now that I must make a choice.  Because of Calvary, I'm free to choose.  And so I choose.

I CHOOSE LOVE...
No occasion justifies hatred; no injustice warrants bitterness.  I choose love.  Today I will love God and what God loves.


Max Lucado receives full credit for the words above reprinted from Grace for the Moment.  And aren't they wonderful words?

We all have a choice to make.  And today I choose love.